something i hardly could say

something's about me has changed since we first met (still i don't know what)

something's about you has made me truly in love (let it be a secret :))

after such 2 rough years looking for a settlement for my angry heart

somehow you came to save it... to save me.

some things are hard to say

some things are even harder to understand

but i know one thing for sure,

you've showed me lots of things.. lots of things that i probably had missed for this past 2 years : forgiveness

after what you'd said that night, i realized you really mean it

you want me to forgive, to accept it and to move on...

you want me to trust,

you want me not to handle things alone

you want me to be open

you want me to cry if i had too

and i know you want me to give you (and other people) a chance to know what i really felt

i never thought you would actually said that to me

i never thought you'll be that bold

i never thought you'll be that care

i never thought you'll be that magical..

you actually made me feel respected

made me feel safe

made me feel being looked after

made me feel guarded

could i really rely on you?

could i trust you...?

could i at least look for you when i need you?

could i trust you to be there for me, whatever happens?

could i give you a chance to understand what i really feel and what i really want??

..... or i'll be disappointed again?

No... i know you'll try your best no to disappoint me...

but you have to understand, letting people to know the inner side of me is not easy

sometimes what i have in the outside is not the same as in the inside

and i'm sure you've known that for a long time already

so you should probably know that i'm not a complicated person,

but i'm a hard person especially if it's about my emotions... my secret side

trust me... even my best friend knows nothing about this side of me

I might not have anywhere and anyone to go to when i'm down

but i have my faith,

i have a little bit of my strength...

i trust in myself...

though it's hard for me.... but i've trusted myself for years that i'll move on... i'll keep strong..

and i won't let others see my secret side.

I'm sorry if i couldn't be that open... i don't know if i could do that... because it's been almost 17 years (except when i was 12 yrs old --- the only year i'd trusted my private life to someone) for me to keep everything to myself.

i'll be fine, don't worry... :')

and thank you very much for trying to support me

thank you very much for showing how much you care

thank you very much for telling me that i could feel safe with someone

thank you very much for everything.. :)

thank you for letting me to keep being myself... and for ensuring me that i'll be okay and there'll be people that'll catch me when i fall.