Is this the end?

I fell in love with a guy... about almost 7 months ago. He has the most beautiful eyes on earth. He has the most unforgettable scent, most endearing smile... and he's the sweetest, faithful, crazy, natural,  and wonderful guy I've ever known. I fell in love with him 'coz he was there when I needed him, he was there and I needed a hug, and he said he loved me so truly that I couldn't resist. And for almost 4 months, I got to call him mine, and it was the most pleasure moment ever.

Thanks for being there

Thanks for everything..

Though I've said this many times before, but they're never enough

I felt glad I let you in

Ever since you came into my life, I felt fulfilled..

I thought to myself... "Is this the part where I finally found someone to trust?"

"Is this the part where I could rely on someone?"

"Is this the part where I could childishly ask you to stay with me when I need you?"

I am a girl and I've been playing boy for a long time

I am a girl and I've hid my girlish side for a long time

I'd never let myself cry in front of other people

I'd never been this pampered before

Seriously.. never I ask someone to look after me like you do

You're the first that I hope will really take care of me like most boys do to girls

You're the first person that I've been really opened to

You're THE ONLY person that I let you see me cry.

Your shoulder is THE ONLY shoulder that holds my tears

Ask anyone... ask my girl friends..

You're the only one I could trust now.. the only one that knows my secret and my inner wounds

Please don't let me down

Please don't leave me.. at least not now.. hopefully never

You've been there for a long time and I am very grateful

You've given me a sensation that I've never asked for

And I'll be speechless if you suddenly disappear

Thanks for being there... And I'll be there for you too

Thanks for your honesty... And I'll be honest with you

Thanks for your trust.... And you know how much I trust you, no matter what your past were

Thanks for your time... And I would want to spend more with you

Thanks for your love... And I couldn't even love you more

Thanks for everything you've given to me... 'Till I don't know how to return them back

Thanks for your patience... After everything that we've been through..

Thanks for being a great best friend... And I'll be your best pal when you need me

Thanks for being a lovable boyfriend... Though I don't know how to be a perfect girl, I'll try

Thanks for being a respectful brother... You don't know how much my respect is to you...

Thanks for being a guy that I could rely on... And you can also count on me..

.. I'm just thankful you're there

... and I'm glad I could be there for you

 

(25 August 2011 --- when I realize I might need him and he might need me. I should give it a try.. and I was right)

Thanks God for giving a wonderful person that keeps my spirits up all the time... I love You... I love him..  :')

OPTIMIS tidak berarti SOMBONG!

Tidak ada yang tak mungkin di dunia ini. Apa pun bisa terjadi selagi nyawa masih di kandung badan. Terjadi atau tidak, itu semua tergantung kita dan usaha kita memohon kepada yg di atas untuk memberikan yg terbaik dan melancarkan segala urusan kita.

The Most Silly Story Ever

Sudah berapa bulan ya, aku jatuh cinta sama seorang cowok ini. Entahlah. Aku gak pasti krn aku juga gak tau pasti kapan aku mulai suka... yang kemudian menjadi sangat sayang sama dia. :)

Bondan ft. Fade2Black : Not with Me

[Intro] C F Am G F

Kadang aku gak habis fikir sama diriku sendiri

Banyak cowok - cowok di sekitarku

Beragam sifatnya

Banyak cowok - cowok yang luar biasa yang ada dalam hidupku

Beruntungnya aku, mereka mau peduli sama aku

Beruntungnya aku, mereka mau sayang sama aku (puedeeeee neeee .__.)

Beruntungnya aku, aku gak sendirian

Tapi kenapa aku begok banget ya?!

Kenapa aku bodoh banget pura - pura gak tau...

Kenapa aku bodoh banget menyia - nyiakan mereka..

Kenapa aku bodoh banget melepaskan kesempatan indah sama mereka.

Kebodohanku tidak bisa mengikhlaskan dia yang sudah berlalu

Dan sekarang kamu.

Yang gak kusangka terjadi

Aku gak pernah bermimpi bakal suka sama kamu

Aku gak pernah berharap segininya sama kamu

Aku gak pernah nyangka bakal ada rasa sama kamu

Aku hanya mengira kita hanya bakal jadi teman

Sekian laaamaaa :D

Hahahaha hihihhi.

Tau gak seeehhh... gua seneng banget lho akhir - akhir inii! :D

Bukan gara - gara ngeliat cowok ganteng lho yaaa! :)

 (kalo itu mak pasti bikin bahagia! :P)

"Good Luck :)"

The moment you asked should we get serious,

I know I have to let you go

I understand you need someone

That you can call A GIRLFRIEND

Though you've asked, and I know you understand

Why I couldn't say "Yes"

Thank you for everything

Thank you for understanding what I need and what I don't need

I'm sorry we have to end this

I'm glad you're okay with it

We both have got what our goal is

And thank you for bringing it up

I'm not ready for a relationship yet

And you need A HER that you can call yours

So good luck in finding her

I support you and hope you'll find the best girl ever :)

I couldn't lie,

Yes, I might still need you

Though I know you'll help me out

But I couldn't come to you anymore

Don't worry about me, you know I'll be fine

I can take care of myself and I am strong on my own

Good luck with the her you're looking for

You deserve it, after what you had been through :)

To my dearest savior : HIM (Mr. X)

Will we be in love?

It was a game, at first we thought

We were trying to clear out our minds

We were playing fire to sweep off the cold snow

We were getting into the fire...

We started with a plan

Then we let it flow like the rain

Like the water flowing from the river

Looking for the deep blue sea

When I see you, you are just like him

It seems like I'm playing back the story

That I once made with him

The story that I never intended to be

Yep! Our story was very much alike.

Never thought that we were using each other

To forget our grieves and looking for someone else's comfort

Never thought you step forward and said, "I wanna do it for real"

I was speechless, but I was desperate

I was desperate to forget him, and you came forward

You were desperate to forget her, and you came to me

Then we decided maybe we should GIVE US A TRY

You said just let it flow

Yeah... I let it flow baby,

I got myself jealous seeing you talking about her

I got myself addicted to you

You said just let it flow...

Yeah... I really let it flow baby,

Now I don't know what I feel anymore

I'm afraid to say I love you, but I know deep down I need you

I'm afraid it's too early for me

I'm scared I'll hurt you like did to the other boys

Though you said it's okay and you won't get hurt

And you make me believe to just let it flow

I let it flow baby

You let it flow too...

Till where will this take us

Till when can we hide this?

I've let it flow so far

And I'm trying to fall in love

You also try to make be the one... your only one

And slowly we forget about our past

We're comfortable in our place now

But till when will this survive

Will we really be in love?

Or we just want it to stay like this?

I let it flow like you've asked to,

I let you fill in my life

I let you change everything

I let you make me smile and make everything better

But do I deserve you?

Or am I just taking advantages from you?

Will I be brave enough to have you in my life?

Or I just want this to stay like this..??

Will you leave me if I'm not ready?

Will you still be behind my back?

Will you forgive me if I hurt you in the end?

Will you still want to let this flow, if I'm begging you....?

'Till I now for sure... I'm really in love with you. :')

Down - Syndrome Kids

Wednesday Night 18 Mei (which I thought was April -- this af ternoon --") 2011 

wow.... i finally find a reason  to write in my blog! :D

Honestly, nothing important... just want to share something with you my friends :)

something i hardly could say

something's about me has changed since we first met (still i don't know what)

something's about you has made me truly in love (let it be a secret :))

after such 2 rough years looking for a settlement for my angry heart

somehow you came to save it... to save me.

How could I say this to you :')

It's been almost a year, since the first time I met you. Yeah... the first time I met you... I let your silly charming smile intimidated me :)

But I didn't regret that... because I like your smile. :)

everything happens because of you :)

Yes... i finally realize... (after reading some of friends' Facebook status) that everything happens because of you (and GOD too of course)

The main reason of all the things that happen to us because whether we realize it or not.. purposely or not... is because we let them happen to us.

We could forget all the bad things people had done to us if we want too... but because of the hatred, sometimes we wouldn't let it leave... and we will blame them for doing that to us... if we just let it go.. it'll be better.

Or we could be the happiest person in the world, if we just let every small silly jokes made us laugh. but sometimes we're too busy with our worries that we forget the things that try to make us happy around us..

We could be the most successful person alive if we are brave enough to have the guts to do it and never worries about failing, because the truth is.. success comes because we had known what failures are previously... :)

And to you guys that are broken-hearted right now (like I used to --- used to :) ----) please realize that you are broken -hearted because you let it happen. But it's okay, don't regret it... because if you regret having a broken-heart, you will suffer your whole life and probably can never heal it. So, enjoy this feeling for awhile, and you have to believe that you are lucky to have gone through this feeling --- because after this you will know how to find a better person. :)

Everything happens because of you... everything happens because God knows what best for you....just enjoy it. And you'll enjoy your life :)

Maaf Ya

Sudah 2 tahun aku pendam beban ini, lhooo... baru akhirnya akhir - akhir ini aku cerita ke teman - temanku... baru akhir - akhir ini aku berani cari berita tentangmu... dan baru akhir - akhir ini juga aku berani memberi kesempatan untuk mencari penggantimu (ceileeee... hahaha --- gak penting!)!

This Time I'll SMILE :)

A Confession : I am really afraid to fall in love!

Yaaa... jatuh cinta bagaikan karma atau sesuatu yg sangat aku takuti. Percaya deh, enaknya cuma pas awal - awal tok! Akhir - akhirnya tidak selalu berakhir indah (kalau indah udah nikah aja langsung kali yaaa.. hahaha)

Miracles Happen Lyric

Miracles happen, miracles happen
You showed me faith is not blind
I don’t need wings to help me fly
Miracles happen, miracles happen

To A Princess Who Had Been Hurt Long Enough

First of all, I didn't mean to make you feel worst! I am so sorry, I do!

Ternyata Cowok Gentle itu ADA!

Aku punya seorang teman. Dia seorang lelaki sejati. Namanya AI (inisial) --- mungkin anak2x Libels atau XIASAT bisa menebak ----- .

AI ini tipe anak easy going, pinter musik, suka guyon... anaknya baek, dan SUKA tertawa! Memang dia anak yang peduli akan agama, buktinya dia ikut organisasi islam di sekolahku, tapi aku gak pernah menyangka dia seorang anak yang gentleman.

Maksudnya gentleman ini bukan apa - apa yaaa... kata - katanya waktu itu bener2x menyentuh. Dia bercerita knp seorang muslimah harus berkerudung.. dia bahkan seolah-olah jujur kalau bagian tubuh wanita itu mengundang para lelaki dan harus dilindungi.

Dia juga bercerita tentang pacaran... nah, yg ini satu kata yang membuatku tertegun : JODOH.

Seorang AI... berbicara tentang JODOH. seumur 17 tahun ku ini, baru SATU ORANG COWOK yang mengungkapkan masalah JODOH di depanku. Dan benar - benar membahasnya denganku! Seorang cowok mamen!

Ternyata dibalik sifat cuek seorang cowok nya itu dia juga bisa berfikiran dewasa, berfikiran gentleman! Iya, ini sebuah pengakuan bahwa AI itu seorang gentleman! Wow. aku tambah salute sama dia.

I've fallen in love with the something that I hated most!

SMA Negeri 15 Surabaya.

At first I attended this school ---- year 2009 ---- I'd never really like this school at first. Everything about this school is sooo demanding! I hated this school so much that at the second semester of my Tenth Grade, I thought I'd lost my interest in studying! --'

Seorang Suami :)

"... since then, I love every little thing about him," said the bride in her marriage vow.

Seharian ini aku sentimentil banget! Hahahaha... pasti gara - gara kebanyakan nonton filem romantis dari tadi siang! :P

Jadi... ceritanya,.. dari tadi siang, habis butek ngerjain matematika.. hehehe, aku nonton TV deh! Kebetulan, pas lagi tayang filem - filem bagus, di sebuah saluran... Nah, maksudku filem - filem bagus itu... sudah tentu nggak jauh - jauh dari CINTA! :)

Lebih tepatnya... PERNIKAHAN! (unyuuuu!!!)

Semua Orang Akan Berubah

Cobalah tatap wajah yang indah itu di cermin.

Wajah seorang anak Adam yang dulunya imut dan menggemaskan,

Kini berubah...

Menjadi lebih dewasa dan berwawasan.

Seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, kehidupan turut bergulir. Tidak ada satu detik pun hidup seorang manusia yang tertinggal oleh waktu. Tiap hembusan nafas kita akan saling beruntun berjalan... tanpa kita sadari.

Siapa sangka, diri ini yang dulunya kecil mungil, hanya berukuran setengah meter, kini lebih dari 1 meter. Bahkan mungkin ada yang mendekati 2 meter atau lebih! Lihatlah kepalan tangan kita, rentangan dada kita, panjangnya kaki kita. Tiap sel dalam tubuh kita berubah, ber - regenerasi, membawa kira dalam detik baru hidup kita. Tapi apa kita pernah menyadari itu?

Kita baru sadar umur baru kita saat kita berulang tahun. Padahal, tiap hari kita berubah, bahkan tiap detik kita bukan orang yang sama... ya, nama tatap sama, tapi sel - sel dalam diri kita sudah berubah - ubah. Saling berganti posisi, saling ber - regenerasi.... tiap detik kita adalah diri kita yang baru. Apa kita sadar??

Semua orang di dunia ini pasti akan berubah. Baik secara fisik, emosi maupun mental. Tiap orang akan berubah. Seorang remaja tidak akan berpikiran persis seperti seorang anak kecil. Seorang dewasa muda tidak lagi berpikiran untuk bersenang - senang selalu seperti seorang remaja, dan seorang yang sudah berumur tidak lagi memikirkan karir seperti dewasa muda. Paling yang mereka pikirkan hanyalah keluarga, anak, cucu, cicit dan bagaimana kehidupan di alam kedua.

Kado Ultah ke - 17!

17 tahun. Ternyata aku sudah banyak berubah. Aku lahir rambutku tipis... terus cepak... habis gitu keriting... terus lurus... sekarang bergelombang!!! hahaha (aduuuhh. ancur banget gak jelas!) Kok rambut sih yg aku bahas?? Iya.. soalnya itu adalah perubahan fisik yang sangat terlihat dalam diriku selama 17 tahun ini.

Seventeen to be honest, it's a special age. Ini adalah tahun pertamaku memegang KTP dan membuat SIM!!! horeee!! LEGAL LHO!! hahahaha. Akhirnya, penantian bertahun - tahun untuk naik motor dan mobil insyAllah akan tercapai dalam waktu terdekat ini. Aku nggak mungkin dibolehin naik motor atau mobil sendiri tanpa SIM. Jadi, nggak heran kan kenapa 17 tahun sangat berarti banget buat akuuuu??!! hehehehe

Beautiful Coincidence :)

Riwayat Hidupku

Kelas 2 SD : Pindah dari  SD YPK 1 Bontang ke Malaysia (SK Seri Paka II)
                    (setengah tahun kemudian pindah ke Ekhlass International School)

Kelas 5 SD : Pindah dari EIS ke SK Rantau Petronas

Kelas 1 SMP : Pastilah lulus SD, naik ke SMK Rantau Petronas

Kelas 2 SMP : Pindah dari SMK Rantau Petronas ke SMPN 12 Surabaya

Kelas 1 SMA : Naik ke SMAN 15 Surabaya

Kelas 2 SMA : Untuk PERTAMA kalinya... masih di SMAN 15 Surabaya

(Total : 3 SD, 2 SMP dan Alhamdulillah... so far 1 SMA!)